Understanding My Identity

In January 2023, I was full of hope because I was getting ready to apply for a business job 👩🏻‍💼. After teaching for 3 years and going on short term mission trips, I felt there was a green light🚦to pursue my dream 💭 to work in business. In middle school, I would daydream about wearing a suit; in high school, I became a big fan of Sheryl Sandberg and her book Lean In; in college, I decided to major in Management & Engineering.

While I felt like the possibilities for business were endless, I was scared to make changes. I did not know what to apply for and where to apply. I also did not know how I was going to transition from my current part time job. I loved the people I was serving with at my part-time ministry role, but I knew that I did not have the capacity to work 2 jobs.

I started to worry when I left my ministry role that I would no longer be appreciated. As the days went on, I found my anxiety continued to increase. I started to ask God, “Why am I feeling this intense emotion?” He started to reveal the depths of my heart. I had this belief that people valued me only for what I can do for them, so if I am no longer serving, they would not value me. Did I consciously know this was a core belief in my heart? No, I had no idea, but this transition catalyzed my 2023 healing journey of knowing my identity.

While I did not expect 2023 to start in this way, I was proud of myself for choosing to grow and take the time to understand my heart.